The Choices We Make
by Blue Eyes At Night
Summary: A PostIsland Angsty SKate with Jack as the hero...if you like Jack you'll like this, if you like Skate you'll like it...Summary would ruin the surprise: just read it


A/N- "On the Road" put me in a very angsty-post-island Skate mood…this is the fruit of that labor

Very angsty….very Skate…very post-island….with the Good Doctor making an appearance in his typical role of hero

I suppose you've been warned!

Not a songfic! (shocking, I know)

**The Choices We Make**

The lights were blinding, the sirens of two different vehicles drowned out everything but the leaping beeps of the monitors. Voices…voices were all around her but she couldn't make out any words.

And there was the pain…oh God the _pain_. It was intense, it consumed her. She wasn't consciously directing her reaction to it anymore, she had become an animal who was guided by the instincts braided into the muscles of her body. She felt herself scream, the noise guttural and raw.

"Kate! Kate hold on!"

She knew that voice! She knew it! Around the edges of the blinding white light shadows leaked in. Slowly but surely they had definition, they became boxes…then people emerged.

At first she started with shock, she knew where she was but…how on earth did she get here?

"Kate!" The voice was happy, excited, and she felt someone grip her hand.

"Sir you'll have to-"

"Work around me asshole! I ain't moving!"

"Sawyer! Sawyer!" She called for him, tightened her grip on his hand.

"I'm here Freckles…"

She lost the voices again as the pain ripped through her. All she could do was scream and respond, her body knew what to do far better then she did. When the pain ebbed she turned and focused on Sawyer, willing his face into detail. She reached up a hand to touch the face, to steady the lines that kept blurring, but the hand was covered in blood.

The sight of it sent her into a panic. Blood? Blood? What had happened? What was going on!

She looked at Sawyer mewling, her face contorted in panic, her eyes begging him to explain.

"Kate don't you remember? The bank? The motel?"

She sank into the darkness when the next wave of pain came, all she could hear was Sawyer screaming and the machines beeping angrily.

-

They had been on the run for more then a year after they left the island. They just kept skipping from one place to the next, always falling under the radar.

Money had never been a problem, when Sawyer's resources were drained they could always run a quick job and make it last a long time. They were good about that, planning everything so they could control the variables of life as wanted criminals.

But…accidents do happen. Every road has bumps in it.

Speaking of bumps…

Kate's eyes flew open and she was immediately alarmed and frantic, "Sawyer! Sawyer! Where are you? Sawyer!"

"Kate?"

That wasn't Sawyer's voice.

"Jack? Jack, where's Sawyer? What's happened? Jack-" She tried to get out of bed but Jack came and forced her down. After futile minutes of trying to calm her he had no choice but to sedate her.

Just as the drugs were taking over she grabbed Jack's hand, tears in her eyes, "Jack…what happened to my baby?"

"Shh, I'll explain everything when you wake up." Jack's eyes were pained

"Where's Sawyer?"

"Shh.."

And the world went dark again.

-

Blinking…blinking…the light was coming back.

"Miss Austin?"

Blinking… it was all coming back.

"Mrs. Deelan, I'm so glad that you and your husband could come by today!" The banker came around his desk to shake Kate and Sawyer's hands, "You're so late I was beginning to think we'd have to meet in the parking lot!"

"I'm sorry we're late." Kate let Sawyer pull back her chair and then calculated her plop into it.

"Woman has to pee every ten minutes and that bladder don't take much consideration of rush hour traffic." Sawyer's grumble was genuine, it was his favorite thing to grumble about these days.

"It's all for the best though!" The banker good naturedly laughed, "Parenthood is a wonderful thing. And of course! That's why you're looking into the new savings account…"

Sawyer stood up and stretched his legs, it was nearly six o'clock and it was just their banker man and them, plus a few custodians and one teller.

It was going to be easy.

"About that…" Sawyer looked at Kate and got the signal; he pulled a gun out of his pants and held it at the man, "We changed our minds."

Everything was running smoothly. All the people were locked in the manager's office and the keys and codes to the teller's registers were out, the money was in a bag and they were five minutes away from locking up and getting out.

Kate was holding the money bag as the banker pushed the bills into it. Nothing larger then twenties, it would be too easy to track them if they kept having to change hundreds into smaller bills. As he was filling up her backpack she pressed one hand to the small of her back and groaned.

"My back is killing me…we need some more of those stick on heat pads." The hand on her back snaked around and smoothed a path over her engorged belly.

The banker stopped dead in his tracks, "You're really pregnant?"

"That ain't your business, boss." Sawyer kept the gun trained on the man.

"You're really the father?"

"You wanna get shot, padre?" Sawyer cocked the gun, an unease growing in his stomach.

The banker thought for a split second before pushing Kate full force into a desk and reaching under the counter, hitting a silent alarm. Sawyer reacted in an instant, shooting the man in the arm, then the leg. No more reaching, no running. He was on his knees, helping Kate up and grabbing the backpack, without talking they ran out to the car.

Kate wobbled as fast as she could and fastened herself into the little sedan, Sawyer dove into the driver's seat and threw the money in the back seat and was on the road in seconds. Keeping the speed limit and trying to blend in he forced his heart to stop racing, as he tamed his breathing he finally grabbed Kate's hand.

"You okay?"

Glancing at her he saw her breathing was evening out, "Yeah…we're good."

"Well I don't think they'll respond too--- damn."

In the rearview mirror a cop car appeared, its siren blaring. The way it had screeched up behind them, the speed it was coming at…this was not a broken-taillight stop.

"Call it baby, how we gonna beat this?" Sawyer looked at Kate, he was always concerned with getting away. They always had two, three exits planned out before a job these days. Even if it was just a small one.

The Boston area was new for Kate, she hadn't been there much. But she knew the maps and immediately set Sawyer on a highway going north.

They weren't there long when the cop on their tale suddenly multiplied into two…and then three.

_Such a simple job…easy in, easy out…_

Neither of them expected the shots…

And neither expected them to hit Kate.

-

"Miss Austin!" The voice was insistent now.

She looked up but did not respond to the officer beside her bed. She recognized him.

He was in the that shot at them…that hit her.

"Where's Sawyer? Where's Jack? I want answers!"

"Sawyer?" The policeman looked at his notes.

"James Ford, alias Sawyer." A man in a suit came in. Normal cops didn't wear a nice suit like that…this was a federal guy. She could smell it a mile off.

"They called you quick." She spat, "Where's Sawyer?"

"Mr. Ford is being questioned downtown, the charges against him are being filed. You'll be happy to know that he didn't go in without a fight."

Kate's heart stopped…

-

"I ain't gonna let you die, Kate! I'm not gonna sit here and watch you bleed to death!"

They had shaken the cops, pulled off to the side of the highway and were sitting in the woods now.

They'd hit Kate in the abdomen, and she was bleeding a lot. They were both panicked about the baby, petrified something had happened, scared that now, so close to the end, they were going to lose it.

"We should call Jack." Sawyer said as he pressed an extra shirt to the wound, "He could help…and he's close by."

One hand over the bullet wound, the other on the pulse-point of the baby, Kate was gasping for breath, "I don't think he can help on his own…Sawyer…I think we need to start discussing hospitals."

Sawyer closed his eyes, one cheek marked with her blood, "They'll recognize us…Freckles I'm scared out of my mind. You say hospital and I'll get you there."

Her back was killing her, the pain she had felt at the bank had tripled.

She cried out and doubled over, she felt liquid soaking her legs and she was still bleeding profusely.

_Not now…Oh God, not now!_

Sawyer saw her water break and immediately picked her up and laid her in the back seat.

They'd reached the end of the line.

-

"Kate?"

Her head perked up, "Jack! Tell me what the _hell_ happened!"

Jack sat next to her, his face as calm as it was the day he came to tell her that a plane had spotted them.

"Officer, may I have a moment alone, please?"

The fed and local both looked at him odd, but nodded, "We'll be outside, no funny business doc."

As soon as the door closed Jack stood up, his calm airs breaking as he ran a hand through his hair, "You were _pregnant_."

"Yes." She didn't pretend she was ashamed, "What happened to my baby, Jack? Please?"

Jack sat down, he still hadn't quite accepted that she had chosen Sawyer, he still wanted to dream that one day she'd decide that living out of a suitcase was no way to live and she'd come to his door. She knew where it was, he had made sure.

"You were shot, Kate…"

"I know that." To her credit, her voice didn't waver.

"Sawyer brought you in to the ER…wouldn't here of leaving you. Caused the on-duty doctor to nearly hit him when he refused to leave the operating table-"

"-operating table, Jack-"

"-and they called me down. When he saw me he…he asked me to help you." Jack's eyes were glassy when he said, "I can't say I wasn't completely taken aback to see you both…especially in the condition you were in….do I want to know how you were shot?"

"Probably not." Her voice was raw, "Jack….tell me."

"We had to take the bullet out and sew you up, but your body had forced a labor…but you were in and out of consciousness at that point and a natural delivery would've been too much for your body. So we did a C-section."

"WHAT HAPPENED TO MY BABY JACK!" Kate finally cried, her voice loud and lined with tears, every moment he stalled she was expecting to hear 'I'm sorry' and it wrenched her heart.

"Your baby's fine, Kate. The bullet missed it completely and aside from being a bit small, it's completely fine. Am I correct in thinking it's about a month premature?"

She could only nod, she was so relieved.

He turned to leave but she grabbed his wrist, "What is it? A boy or a girl?"

Jack smiled, "Boy. It's a little boy. Six pounds, four ounces."

Without releasing his wrist, Kate burst into tears. Jack sat on the bed and held her while it all poured out.

"James." She finally squeaked, "That's what we want to call it."

Jack's jaw twitched but he said, "I'll make sure they write that on his tag."

"What's going to happen to him, Jack? What's going to happen to him?"

"Adoption, most likely. You and Sawyer are both…"

"…going to jail for a long time."

Jack got up and went to the door, "I should probably let the cops back in..."

"Thank you, Jack."

She sat in the bed, her hands in her lap, her voice little more then a whisper, "Thank you…you did everything you could."

He let the policemen back in and went straight for the maternity ward. For long moments he stared at the lines of infants and watched as tired mothers were rolled in by proud fathers to see their little miracle.

There was one crib that would not be cooed over.

Unnamed Male, 6 lbs 4 ounces.

He had big bright eyes and a head full of dark hair. The nurses said he hadn't cried since his delivery, he just watched.

"Nurse!" Jack summoned one of the on-duty nurses, "Can you change the name of that," he indicated the baby, "baby's name to James?"

"Just James? No last name Doctor Shepard? No middle name?"

Jack thought about the questions, what _was_ the baby's last name? And what about a middle name? Kate hadn't mentioned it…

He looked at the baby again. Poor thing. It didn't ask to be abandoned. It wasn't fair.

Without answering the nurse he walked away.

-

"Mr. Ford, you got a visitor…be nice so I don't have to mace you." The cell door opened and Sawyer was shocked to see Jack there.

"Hi Sawyer."

"Hi Doc." Sawyer stood up, "You here to tell me something good or bad? What's the news from your side of the fence? Kate alright? What about the…"

"Calm down, Sawyer." Jack held up his hands and took a seat on the bench. Sawyer sat next to him looking thoroughly shaken.

His hands weren't steady as he brushed his long hair out of his face, "Why are you here, Jack? No bullshit."

"No bull?" Jack met Sawyer's eyes, "Kate's fine, she's awake. She was really frantic when she first woke up but she's calmed down a lot and they're talking to her. She'll stay there for a few days so we can keep an eye on her."

Sawyer nodded, "But she's okay?"

Jack affirmed, "She's fine."

Sawyer let out a breath and leaned his head against the wall, "And…the baby? They didn't let me see it or…"

"He's fine, too."

"He?" Sawyer perked up, "It's a boy?"

"Yeah…it's a boy. Congratulations." Sawyer's smile was infectious, even in the holding cell after all that had happened he could smile.

"James…we were-"

"I know, you were going to name him James. She told me."

Sawyer couldn't stop smiling, "Jack…you're alright. I know you and me aren't bosom buddies…but you're alright in my book."

Sawyer held out his hand and Jack surprised himself and took it. He never thought that being "okay" in Sawyer's book would mean anything to him.

"That all you came to tell me, Doc?"

"Came to ask you something."

Sawyer arched an eyebrow, "Ask away."

Jack took a breath, "Why did you do it? Why'd you keep it? You knew the way you lived, the risk you were taking! Why did you do it?"

Leaning back Sawyer stared ahead into nothing.

-

Jack watched from the rocking chair as the mobile stopped spinning. He knew he only had a matter of minutes to make it spin again or else he'd spend the next hour paying for it.

He got up and walked over to the crib, pressed a button on the mobile and it was spinning again. Inside the crib a dark-haired toddler laughed happily to see the mobile spin again. Sleeping wasn't big on his agenda, but he watched everything.

Jack smiled at him and smoothed his curls for a moment, "_Try_ to sleep tonight, James? Just for a couple hours, okay?"

He never pictured himself as a father...at least not to the child of two criminals. Little James Austin Shepard... a name for each parent he had. As Jack settled himself back into the rocking chair and listened to the happy giggles of the six month old, he reflected on something Sawyer had told him in a dank holding cell a lifetime ago.

_"Life throws a lot of curves your way, and you don't have any control over that. But you can control the choices you make about them, and that's what we did._"

Who would've thought Sawyer, of all people, could teach Jack a lesson?

The End.

A/N- ok….i am VERY satisfied with this! Skate AND Jack analysis!

WOOHOO!

I like it….what do you guys think?


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